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Rash Decisions Can Save the World….I hope

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So with my general "yeah why not" attitude and continuous desire to do random nonsense I have decided to sign up for something called the Monkey Run. What is the Monkey Run? Well I'm still trying to figure that out but from what I gather it's an excuse to do something completely ridiculous all in the name of fun and charity. Basically a group of people get dumped in the middle of the Moroccan desert each with their bags and a little 50cc motorcycle known to many as the monkey bike. This 50cc bike has been given this loving moniker due to the fact that it is so small riding it makes you look like a damn gorilla going around the main ring in a circus...cue circus music. Now, apparently we are given a week to ride, push, drag, or hitch our way to Marrakesh with whatever life remains of our little monkey bike as there is a 99% chance that it will breakdown somewhere along the way. Due to my security deposit, sadly, I will not be allowed to just dump the bike and walk away. You may be asking what does this have to do with charity...well the ride itself...hell if I know I just thought it would be a good story as I continue to refuse to act like a grown ass man and go back to work buttttt the organizers have teamed up with Cool Earth so that the money we raise will go towards saving the rain forest. That's pretty cool of them right? Please donate her for Cool Earth, for my people who hate oxygen and animals and in line with my current path of helping startups, I have setup a gofundme page to allow donations to go to Lemonade Day (, an organization in Houston helping to teach young kids entrepreneurial skills. Just for your peace of mind, you are not paying for me to do this, all your funds will go to the charities themselves as I will be paying for my fees, travel, food, housing (tarp), gas, and all maintenance bills required for the bike. So no excuses plus I've given most of you ungrateful sacks way too much money in the past for your stupid marathons, 10ks, 5ks, powderpuff games, kids candies and whatever other BS thing you were doing so I'm cashing in those receipts now. In return, you'll get to live vicariously through me and not put your own life in danger trying to prove Darwin wrong. Heck we can even photoshop your face on all my pics if you want, I give zero shits. While you all sit comfortably at home enjoying your huge houses, ever growing families, and praying bitcoin goes up, you will be able to follow me along the route through a blog post and a location map, depending on internet service in the middle of nowhere of course. If you're a company and want me to wear a logo, send it my way and I'll be happy to. If you want to name the bike, request crazy outfits, or any other fun ideas, for the right amount of money...yeah why not. I don't have my chicken or Elmo costume with me but I'm sure I can find one.

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